Trans activism

Today I had to hold a five minute speech at my Swedish course. I am not out as trans in school, they "just" know that I have a husband. A few friends know but it has never been a good time to come out and I don't feel obligated to talk about my trans history. They know that I am Alex and that felt enough.

But then this opportunity came. A five minute speech about dialects, nordic languages, sociolects or something in that area. I choose to talk about my own body language and spoken language as a man and as a woman. I did is as a little show where Alex and the girl I use to try to be. It was the most scary thing I have done in quite a while but oh so fun!

This is the ms I had (translated though), the italic styled text was told with a very feminine body language another voice:

My minutes here in front of you will deal with body language from a gender perspective. More specific, my own body language as man and as a woman.

When I was born 27 years ago something usual happened. My parents didn't see that I was a boy. That can sound weird but there actually was not any single sign that said otherwise.

(at this point I turned on a overhead projector that showed my driver license with Oldname and a feminine photo)

I noticed the difference quite early but used very many years to cover up the tracks. I really wanted to be a normal girl.

To look as normal as possible I had to learn everything a woman was supposed to be. To be on the safe side I had to know how a man was acting so I could avoid that.

I think that it is remarkable that so many small things can make so much difference.

During about a year I lived as both woman and man depending on who I met. With some family and old friends I was Oldname and with my immediate family I was Alex.

No one misinterpret my signals. By the way I choose to dress, speak and use my body I could choose to pass as man or woman.

What is it that makes us think that someone is male or female?

When I walked up here I used big confident steps. I placed myself right here in the middle in front of you. I took a good look at you and looked calm. If Oldname would have been here she would stand a bit by the side, glanced at the teacher and then rearranged the papers. (said with a giggle and a blush)

Alex talk with a clear and slow voice
Oldname speaks faster, she almost reels off her words at a high paste that you almost never would hear Alex use. Oldname would need a much longer manuscript then Alex and she doesn't make pauses in her speech but marks points with different melody when she talks.(said in one breath)

Then it went on like that, when I described myself and just took a step aside when I was Oldname to reinforce that I was different characters.
After a while i paused and looked at them and said

The worst thing of it all
When Alex speaks almost everyone listens
When Oldname said the same thing she had to work twice as hard to get half the attention

Oldname took to much space
Alex gets authority

I do not tell you this just to pass this assignment
I do not tell you this just to give you something cool to tell your friends

I tell you this because I want you to know what a tremendous power body language can give you. That someone who act masculine gets attention that a classic feminine way to express one self goes without.

I did not only go from male to female
I went from under paid to over paid
I went from G:s to straight MVG:s (from C's to straight A's)

What I am sad to tell you is this: What we say is not yet as important as how we say it.

I got by far the most applause afterward. I was so nervous and had to force the words out of me afterwards. But now it is done. My first live trans activist performance. I know it will be many more and it feels good that I never have to do it for the first time again :)


(The photo in the beginning of this post is of me and my darling niece, taken a few days ago.)