manic monday
Today I just had no energy. I have been angry, frustrated, irritable and annoying.
I had noooo energy and had a irritating day at school and when I came home I just sat with my laptop and screamed at the children to shut up (even when they were polite and nice to me).
I became so bored hearing my self scream so I told the kids to go to their room and make it look really good. Half an hour later they came out, smiled and carefully said "it's done".
I don't know if they did it out of fear of their incompetent father but I'm impressed that they got anything done with my depressing energy in the apartment.
Their energy infected me so I got up and took out acrylic colors, brushes, sponges and some canvas panels. Then me and my three kids sat down and for the first time today really talked. We all started to paint and after a while my oldest child, soon to be six years old, started to make some really rotten comments about the two other children's capacity to paint as detailed as her. I really heard my own tone in her voice. Am I really that unbearable? Well, I had to do something more constructive then to yell at her so I took a panel and poured out a lot of green and blue color on my panel and started to smear it out with my hands just to get their attention. Then I took some bright red, yellow and orange and sponged it and started to tell a story about a Tuttelituta (just gibberish in swedish too). It was a lonely monster that was so angry it started burning and it grew out horns. It was very ugly and so boring that everyone who talked to it just turned to stone.
It was very therapeutical for the four of us and we had a blast. The four year old decided that the Tutelituta wasn't to blame for its anger and that we could help it with some rain.
Then they put down both their brushes and their stress and just had fun and let their creativity flow. They did their own stories and they painted with their whole beeing. At the end their panels was red with some golden shimmer. I think we emptied eleven tubes of color and we ended up with four pieces of art I will treasure for ever. I am not a model parent but my kids sure makes the parenting fun. I love their way of thinking, I can get Jesus on that point, the kingdom of heaven belongs to them. Today I saw a gleam of heaven.
5 comments:
Your kids certainly like those red colors, don't they?
It sounds like your story had quite an effect on them. You definitely have a way with words. I should know. ;)
And though this is totally off-topic: I'm going to speak about being a Transgender youth on Friday--please send good wishes!
p.s. Check out my new blog entry when you have enough time! It's pretty long, but it's about my experience with my gender identity. I think you'll like it.
That's so cool! I wish I had you to paint with today, to take me out of myself - I a very bad day! I love how creativity brings people closer to one another - and to God.
Alex, I have always thought the best children's ministry is when the children minister to the adults.
elliot: They do like red colors but during the process they all had every color but white and black but after the red and gold era it was way past bed time so they all ended up red.
I will think about you on Friday! Lycka till! (FtM's are statistically very good with words and language)
calia77: You would have been very nice to have you at our table but know that after the kids fell asleep I would have forced you to se Life of Brian with me :)
peterson: I agree. Kids are a strange gift, they have so much to give and can learn more about life and living that I ever thought was possible. At the same time they are so vulnerable and easy to oppress and abuse. Children have so much power to change the world and at the same time they are so powerless and at the bottom of every hierarchy.
Good job and thanks for sharing this story and the pictures. I've often used creativity, paint specifically, to soothe the beast within when I've not felt like dealing with my children. There is something heaven-like about the creative process....and certainly in sharing it with your children.
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