evaluation 0.1

It's not that I am against heterosexuality and monogamy, I think people should be free to express them self's in any way they want, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone, but there has to be limits. People needs boundaries. I spent the Christmas with my extended family and in it there is these three beautiful and intelligent girls who is in their teens. Already they are experimenting with both heterosexuality and monogamy. I mean, don't they know that a mono heterosexual relationship are the most dangerous sort of relationship there is? Couldn't they start out with a more safe and healthy form of relationship? As lesbians they would minimize the risk of both STDs and violence. Or take Pauls advice and just go asexual. If it is possible to change, why not choose the apostle way and just say no to all sexuality?

I really hope that the conservatives can take a step back and see their argumentation from a different angel...

I like irony and satire. No, that is a understatement, I need it. It is a great part of me. I spent the xmas with my husbands family. They are very nice people all of them and I do love them a great deal. But, and this is a great but, they don't get my sense of humor at all. Today I spent a few hours at my parents and it was great to get the homy feeling of satire. Mean is the new kind! I can be nice to almost anyone but there is just a few that I dare to be snotty to.

I met a aunt and uncle I haven't met as Alex yet. I knew they knew but I just chickened out and didn't dare to talk about my change even if it is quite obvious, I hadn't shaved that day, my kids calling me dad and my husband using the right pronouns, so it wasn't like they didn't noticed. But nether them nor I said anything. I don't know why. People I care about I often talk more deeply to but unfortunately I chickened out.

Maybe I can blame it on me being tired. The last three days me and husband has driven almost 1200 miles, and 1000 of them with a trailer filled with our belongings. Now most of our household is up in Umeå. A few days so will we be. In some ways it is a huge step. In other ways I still live a such a big part of my life online so it doesn't really make a huge difference. But I will surly miss my sister Maria who lives here. I miss her even now when she is a few minutes away.

But it is nice to move. To pack up your life and evaluate it. Throw out what you don't like and dream about how things should be. I have never moved and felt this good about myself. When I pack up my things I don't feel panic as earlier times when I just flied. Now I just tidy up something I like and make it more beautiful. I love aging. Youth is highly overrated. Life, here I come!

This might be the last post from this apartment. I am always sitting in bed, often with my headphones in my ears. Right now Jack Johnson's album brushfire Fariytales is playing and I am dreaming of a village where everyone I love is living. I am happy that this is one of the days that I am happy about the fact that my village would be crowded if it was more than a dream. The last days I have mostly mourn that it is just a dream.