Friday monster

Already Friday again. I hope you all will have a good weekend. I have a very nice couple of days planned.

How long can a blog-entry be?

The image above has nothing to do with the text below. It is just a little girl (who was eating a semla. Semla is a pastry we eat mainly on fettisdagen/Mardi Gras (Swedish and French for the fat day) the day before Ash Wednesday.


Yesterday I started to more seriously look at what I can do if everything goes according to schedule and I have the grades that qualify me to study at the university. My problem wasn't low grades but not grades enough. I have to finish more high school courses and I will have everything I need by the end of May.

I just browsed through the catalogue and I have no idea what to apply for. I have rather good grades and can choose what I want except for becoming a physician, psychiatrist or physiotherapist. If I wanted to be a ph-something I would have to improve my grades for another year but I am not at all interested in that.

Right now I am thinking of studying history of ideas but theology, philosophy and so many other things seems to be interesting as well. I will take one or two summer courses to learn more about what I want to learn.

But just to choose two summer coarses is impossible for me. This is the list of courses that I really want to take but I can only do two at once so I have until March 15 to decide what to study:

Filosofihistoria - The history of Philosophy
Från vikingar till välfärd:Svensk idéhistoria under tusen år - From Vikings to wellfare: Swedish history of ideas during thousand years
Historia - History
Logik och kritiskt tänkande - Logic and critical thinking
Maktens och motståndets kulturer - The cultures of power and opposition
Människosyn och moral - View of humanity and ethics
Nya religiösa rörelser och nyreligiositet - New religious movements and new religious expressions
Religion och mystik - Religion and mysticism
Allmän anatomi - General anatomy (basic human anatomy)
Freds- och konfliktstudier - Peace and conflict studies
Humanekologi och hållbar utveckling - Human ecology and a sustainable development
Vardagens mysterier förklarade - The everyday mysteries explained
Gruppvägledning - att leda grupper till utveckling - Group counseling - to lead groups to development.
Svåra samtal i professionella möten - Difficult conversations in professional meetings/situations.

Something I will not become when I grow up is a translator but if I am off to wrong on the coarse translations maybe someone can make a comment with more accurate names. Just do not complain on my grammar. I have had way to much of that this week from my English teacher.

That brings me into another subject. Grammar and normality. My English teacher is focusing a lot on grammar and pronunciation. I think that both grammar and pronunciation is good to know because it helps learning to communicate unhindered. But there me and my teacher does not seem to agree. For me language has only one goal - to help with communication. For my teacher, who deeply loves grammar and pronunciation, languages has an end in itself. We have to use British English and preferably RP and there are a thousand rules just to learn for the sake of it. If she was focused on grammar and focused on how good it is to know when we have to write reports in English at the university it would have been one thing, but now she just sigh and tell us how basic our errors are and how this is an advance class. As the coward I still am I just smile but on the inside I sigh an tell her how languages are made to communicate and how good it is that we try and that every time we can connect and interact in a foreign language that is good and grammar and pronunciation is a good way of learning how to interact more smoothly with one and other.

In todays class I did the connection between her attitude towards language and the society's attitude towards normality.

I think that many people when they express them selfs have a image that can be described as normal and because of that normality can be good. But when we turn it over and say that someone should be normal because that is the way people are it just becomes wrong. When my teacher grunt and correct someones comm-I-tment [kə'mĩtmənt] to a correct commitment [kə'mitmənt]. I can understand why it is good to pronounce well but everybody understood him and the next time she asked him a question he just shook his head and stayed quiet.


If I should go back and re-read this and check up the grammar it would probably take me a week or two to post this I would never try to write anything. But I post my entries with my basic (and advanced) grammatical errors, misspellings and bad allusions (I don't even want to try to think on more errors I do in my posts). If I don't write in English I surly will not improve at all and so what if I have the wrong tense? I get to tell my story and most of you understand me just fine.

Well, I now I can't even put words of how I thing her behavior is very alike society's thoughts on normality. But the feeling of someone having to follow the rules just because the rules are there. But neither language nor normality are static. The rules are there to help us understand how language and society works, not to bind us down and make us feel useless.

Lets change subject again. That one never got good enough.

Today me and Noa test drove a Ford and took a quick drive out to the sea (Kvarken) and I took some pictures. Everyone is talking about how very little snow it is this winter but I am just happy there are snow at all after 10 years in a milder climate that just had snow for some weeks every year.

Re-define

When I started to come out many people took my transsexuality well. It seems like it is ok to be a man if I just promise to go all the way and be a butchy mans man. Like gender is binary and crossing those lines is the worse thing a person can do if you don't flip totally and hide out on the other side.

What if I wanted to wear lipstick? I don't at the time but what in the world would be horrible with that? This world needs more diversity not less!

Friday monster

was to tired when I did the coloring and smudged it badly but I hadn't the energy or even will to redo it.

I was sitting drinking a glass of bitter but fair trade coffee latte at the cafe next to the public library at a ugly red table and tried to write a normal post but failed once again. I have some thoughts I am trying to get a grip on to share with you but I am not there just yet.

Got a overwhelmed thinking of you all and I just want to say that I am so very grateful for all the comments you have given my previous posts and given new angles to my thoughts (and/or nice company during times of not that interesting thoughts)

So I fell into the Valentine love theme today and just want to say that I am thinking of you all:



I am very grateful to all the readers but here is a special thanks to some of you:

Calia77: Are you still around? Miss you and hope all is well.
Diana_CT: Interesting but hard to read post on partners to transpeople you had the other day.
Elliot: Love you're new blogger photo, you're so cute.
Eric: I am happy to read about your experience from transgendered Christians. I am in the same place of not being surprised but amazed of what the Lord show me.
Heath: I miss reading your blog. Gimme more! :)
Jacob: Did your back hurt enough or will you join me tomorrow and assure some sever leg pain to enjoy during the weekend?
Jami: Just loved the trans fat comic! Have it om my desktop and still giggle every time I see it.
Jay: Hope you are well, haven't seen you for a while.
Jeanette: Didn't ever thank you for the very kind comment on the post I erased. Your words made me keep posting.
Joe (not the G-one): Don't know much about you but thanks for the comment!
Joe G: I really, really miss Beppe Podcast. Didn't remove my bookmark until last week. Don't you have any respect for us who need you?
Koan: Don't know if you are online at all anymore. Miss your blog. Wish you all the best!
Linderholm: I have a problem with the feed from your blog, I don't get new posts so I have to manually visit your post. If you get 10 hits a day from Umeå I not stalking you, just well, uhm,
almost staling you.
Linster: Love you, miss you, and don't call. Have we heard that before? Hope things are good. It's still strange being at Mimer every day without you.
M: I love your blog. Hope you will post again soon. You write things I need to read so it's just a ego wish I have to read more. Glad you made that comment so I found you.
Malgul: Miss you a lot! *hugs*
Mamma: hope you will come by and see our new home some time. Thanks for all your comments. I am so happy you found the blog!/Hoppas att du kan komma förbi och se vår nya lya någon gång. Tacc
k för alla dina kommentarer. Jag är så glad att du hittade till bloggen!
Maria: look what you have done! If you hadn't given me that Christmas gift wouldn't have started to draw or paint.
Marika82: You and me baby, and a couple of ears, knifes, gnu and brute force. I look forward to your visit :)
Nillo: You are an inspiration and you have broaden my horizon!
Ninja: Got almost sick listening to the evangelist in #87. I was glad to be with you on the trip to Cleveland. :)
Noa: You not only rock, you are my rock!
Olov: I am glad you found me. I will tell my story if you tell me yours... :)
Paul: I'm hope all is well. I still think of you almost every time I drink single malt, and that would be more than once in a while :)
Peterson: You make the world a better place. I cannot find any better thing to say (besides wishing you a great birthday week)
Puck: Lost the link to your blog a while ago and miss it. :(
Scotmagicman: Thanks for your comments! I will come back with a report on the books I bought in november and promised you to talk about when they was read. I forgot it until today when I re-read your comment.
Sloopy: Your comment really made a big impact on me. You are a great example on how sharing burdons can make the life so much more manageable.
Tj: Thinking of you daily! Big hugs to you, Anders and Hannes.
Ull: Thanks for loving the dino, I needed that tonight! (K)
Valorie: You are an inspiration when it comes to share love and compassion. Thanks for your comments!

another monster

Expences

My bookstore has a big shelf with Moleskine notebooks and I did resist the urge to buy one for more than a month. "They are to expensive and you have other paper to paint on" I tried to tell myself. But yesterday I gave in and bought it. Then I just happen to buy a set of water colors. I haven't had good water colors since I moved away from home. And then just a new pen, ooh, they had a special price if I buy four. Great. Maybe a new pencil. I just need a rubber too...

I had a honest feeling that it would be enough there. But no. Today the obvious next step arrived. I had to get a image scanner so I can scan what I draw.

Conclusion: Do not, I repeat: NOT, buy a Moleskine. They come with so many expenses. :)

another nice day

It says that a picture says more than a thousand word. So this is what I have done today:

(if you are not interested in hand crafts and other fun stuff you can at least notice my almost noticable side burns. I can understand that I have gone from 19 to 22-23 in age when people guess how old I am)

Had a nice day

So I spent the day as a living book. I went there with the mind set of changing others and came there changed myself. Love it when that happens.

Besides me there was a girl with CP, a Kurd, a Policewoman, a female preist, a former criminal and drug addict, a Sami, a muslim woman from Somalia, a person on longterm sick leave, a animal rights activist, a lesbian and a white middelaged man.

Can you imagen a more fun group of people to spend almost 6 hours with? It was interesting to meet peoples prejudices when we got borrowed but to sit down and talk with the other books about their life and the prejudices they meet was so fun!

I am already booked as a book for next years living book project.

I have learned so much today.

Now I have to go and eat some real food. I have had russian, ethiopian, finnish and asian fikas. You don't have a good word for having a coffee or tea break with something sweet to it so you can have our fika. But still no proper food.

Want to borrow a living book or 12?

On Saturday on a event called Midvinterfestival (Mid winter festival (did you really need to read the translation for that?!)), a public library is giving the citizens here in Umeå the chance to borrow another citizen. Yes, up for lending is 12 people. You can borrow one of them for 45 min and you get to sit down and chat with someone often biased. The event is the 2nd annual "Borrow a prejudice - and get rid of it" The 12 persons you can lend is a Kurd, a lesbian, a female priest, a imam, a person with CP, a policeman, a animal rights activist, a former addict and criminal, a Sami, a muslim woman from Somalia, a middle aged white heterosexual man and last a transsexual man. They are called living books and the meaning of the arrangement is to help people not to judge a book by its cover.

The event was a big success last year and the borrowers specifically asked for transpersons when asked what could make the happening better for next year. So now they have a transsexual man and the other new books are the animal rights activist and the white man.

It will be very interesting. I'll probably report more about it on Saturday evening.